My Humanity
by MistressDarkness
Summary: Dyson confronts Bo regarding his thoughts about Lauren and humans in general without realizing that Kenzi can hear everything he is saying. One-shot. Kenzi/Dyson friendship


Author's Note: I've had this idea in my head for months, and finally decided to write it out. Also no worries, I'm still working on my other fics too :) Just every once in a while a one-shot demands I write it and I couldn't ignore this one anymore. It's a little different from what I normally write since it's not Bo/Kenzi friendship based. It's still a friendship based fic, it's just between Dyson and Kenzi this time. Also, for all the Denzi shippers out there, while this is just a friendship fic, feel free to read it as a relationship fic if you want. It can be interpreted both ways. It takes place sometime during mid season 1, after "Arachnofaebia" but before Dyson and Bo are a couple.

Enjoy, and as always please review! You have no idea how happy reviews make me :)

**My Humanity**

Upon hearing her front door open and close, Bo jumped up from the couch, ready to attack any intruder who dares to enter her home. Her stance instantly relaxed at seeing a familiar face. "Dyson! Knock before entering next time. We have enough fae coming through that door uninvited as it is."

"Sorry," he apologized briefly, "but we need to talk."

Bo's eyebrows furrowed in concern, "what happened? Is everyone okay?" she asked, automatically assuming some new big bad was after her friends.

"Everyone's fine," he smiled to ease her worry. "I meant we need to talk about us."

Bo went from being surprised at Dyson's visit, to being worried about her friends, to feeling relieved that they're okay, to being nervous about discussing her romantic life all within the span of five seconds. "Oh, okay," she responded hesitantly. She wasn't sure where this was headed since she had yet to actually choose a steady lover. "I didn't think there was an us."

"I want to give it a chance."

"You're the one who shacked up with me and then was all over Trick's bartender the very next night. I was ready and willing to give you a chance, but you're the one who said we could only have sex to heal," she reminded him. That specific memory was burned into her mind. It still hurt her to think about it.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I wanted to be with you, I still do, I was just scared at the time," he told the half-truth. The main reason he refused to be with Bo was because Trick had specifically told him not to get romantically involved with her, but it's also true that he was afraid to defy his king's orders.

"Even if that were true, I'm not sure I still want the same things I wanted then," she responded vaguely.

"You mean Lauren," Dyson caught onto the meaning behind her cryptic sentence. "She's not good enough for you," his tone suddenly took on a slight edge to it.

Bo immediately went on the defensive, "and who the hell are you to tell me who is good enough for me and who isn't? Because right now, you aren't looking so great yourself."

"Bo, you need to think realistically," he tried to reason with her. "She's a human. I know you want a monogamous relationship; she doesn't have enough chi to keep you alive. It's already hard enough for a succubus to live off of just one person, but for that partner to be a human is unheard of."

"Well maybe soon it will be heard of," she glared at him. "It always comes back to this doesn't it? Because she's human."

"It's not just that, I don't trust her," he countered.

"Because she's human," Bo stated flatly.

"Yes. I mean no!" he shook his head irritated that he had played right into her trap. "She works for the Ash. She could tell him anything and everything." He had no idea how much the Ash may already know about Bo through Lauren. The blonde could reveal Bo's weaknesses to him without even meaning to.

"She wouldn't do that," Bo said confidently.

"You really think so? Did you know it was Lauren who told the Ash about the djieiene and had you and Kenzi quarantined? Did you know it was Lauren who almost got both of you killed that day?" Dyson listed off the facts, trying to get Bo to see the truth. Lauren wasn't as innocent as the succubus thought her to be.

Bo's mouth opened to respond, but abruptly closed again, taken off guard by Dyson's accusation. She didn't want to believe him, although she couldn't help but wonder how exactly the light fae had found out she and Kenzi were infected in order to know to quarantine them in the first place. She mentally made a note to discuss that detail with Lauren the next time she saw her. "She was probably just doing her job," she answered lamely.

"Does her job include killing you?"

Bo scoffed, "that's absurd! Lauren would never intentionally hurt me. Unlike some people," she muttered the last part.

"You need to remember it was only a few months ago that the Ash wanted you dead. Who says he's not sending his slave to do his dirty work?"

Bo growled at the derogatory term Dyson used to refer to the doctor, "her name is Lauren."

"Bo, whether you like it or not, humans can't be trusted. They're just looking out for themselves."

"You better watch what you say Dyson," the succubus gritted her teeth, "I grew up with humans. I know them a lot better than I do the fae and so far, only the fae have ever tried to kill me."

"I'm just trying to protect you, something Lauren will never be able to fully do in our world. I don't want to be right Bo, but the best thing for you to do is to forget about humans as anything but food."

"That's all I am to you? Just a piece of meat?!," Kenzi stood, half hidden by the door frame on the stairs.

"Kenzi," he gasped, staring at her in shock. "No, I didn't mean-"

"Of course you meant it! You just didn't 'mean' for me to hear it," Kenzi fumed. "It's good to finally know what you think about humans Dyson. Now I can stop kidding myself that we could actually be friends." She stormed back up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door so hard that bits of plaster fell from the ceiling.

"Kenzi wait!" Dyson began following the angry woman, intent on making amends, when he felt a hand roughly grab him, turning him back to face Bo.

"Oh no you don't. I think you've done enough damage tonight Dyson," Bo seethed. Not only had he dissed Lauren and all humans in general, but Kenzi overheard it and was devastated. She was fiercely protective of the younger woman. Kenzi had nothing to do with this conversation yet she was still hurt by it. This problem with Dyson had gone too far.

"Bo, I swear I didn't know she was home. I thought she was still at the Dal with Hale," he defended. He ran a hand through his hair, obviously frustrated with himself and the situation he had gotten himself into.

"And that makes it okay? Because you thought she wouldn't be here to hear your anti-human rant?! You just dissed everything she is, everything that makes her Kenzi!" Bo flung her hand out to the side, pointing up the staircase to where her best friend resided.

Against her better judgment, Bo gave in. "You have one chance Dyson. If she kicks your ass to the curb, then so do I." She turned her back on him, stalking into the kitchen to grab some kind of alcohol. She considered the wine in the cabinet, before deciding that this moment required that extra kick. She pushed it aside, reaching far back to grab the bottle of vodka that she knew Kenzi always kept for times like these. She sighed, hearing Dyson's footsteps echo up the stairs. She hoped she was doing the right thing by letting Dyson try to patch things up. She shook her head, realizing that he was about to face Kenzi's wrath; it was probably Dyson she should be worried about right now.

Kenzi paced around her room, too pissed off to sit still. She heard her bedroom door open, assuming it was Bo coming in to make sure she was okay. "Bo, I'm fi-" she paused, noticing the shifter standing in her doorway. "Oh _hell_ no. You're not welcome here Cujo! Get the hell out of my room! Get the hell out of my house! And make sure the door hits you on the ass on your way out."

Dyson put up his hands in surrender. "Kenzi please, just let me explain."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "explain? Explain to me how much you hate humans? Or how we're so powerless? Or how insignificant we are? Or how about how we can't be trusted?"

"Kenzi, I didn't mean you. You're not like-"

"But I am, Dyson! I'm a human, just like all of the others. I have a shorter lifespan than you, I don't have any superpowers, I don't have a clan, I make mistakes. Your kind all consider me to be a pet. Do you know how degrading that is? How much it hurts to be thought of as nothing more than a nuisance that must be trained? I thought you were different, but you have the same bigoted ideas as all of the rest. You're no better than them. God," she laughed sarcastically at herself, turning away from him before rounding on him once more. "I am so fucking stupid. I honestly thought you cared about me." She paused, her voice becoming softer, "when I was sick…" tears sprang to her eyes, but she was too stubborn to let them fall. "You sat with me, you came to find me when I ran away from the lab, you carried me to the Dal, you comforted me. Shit Dyson, you even took my feelings into account knowing that I hate hospitals and doctors. What happened to that guy?" She shook her head in disbelief. "You're an amazing actor," she spit out.

"I do care about you! I cared about you then and I care about you now," he exclaimed.

"Bullshit. I'm a filthy human who will never be good enough to be a friend to you! I was an idiot to ever think I could be good enough. I worked so hard to get to where I'm at today, but it seems my family was right all along; I'm a worthless-"

Dyson grabbed the woman by the shoulders, shaking her slightly to snap her out of her rant. "Kenzi, stop!"

She glared at him, shrugging his hands off of her. "Oh right, go ahead and just command me to stop when I get out of hand. I'm sorry my lord," she curtsied, "I'm sorry I displeased you. I'll be the obedient human from now on."

Dyson growled in frustration at how easily she was able to turn everything around on him. "Damn it Kenzi, just listen to me! I'm trying to apologise here!"

"No need to," she countered. "Fae don't need to apologize to lowly humans so don't waste your breath."

"Yes I need to! Because you're not just any human, and you are definitely worth the effort. If I didn't think so, I wouldn't be here trying so hard to get your stubborn ass to hear what I have to say!" he shouted back at her. Kenzi paused, motioning with her hand for him to continue before crossing her arms defensively in front of her. Dyson sighed, glad that she was at least willing to hear him out now. "You're right, I'm not fond of humans," he began.

Kenzi rolled her eyes, "some apology so far," she scoffed.

Dyson ignored her comments. "I grew up during a time when humans were just food, before fae even thought that humans were worthwhile enough to keep as pets. I was born and raised into a hierarchical system, brainwashed to follow a king I thought deserved my allegiance. When he sent Stefan to his death, I fled, yet I ended up in a similar hierarchy under the Ash and serving Trick. That hierarchy of fae elite, regular fae, underfae, and humans is all I've known for centuries. Yet you have consistently challenged my beliefs since the day I met you," the corner of his lip turned up at the thought of the overly stubborn woman before him. "As a lone wolf, I continued to keep my distance from humans, even when I was forced to work alongside them at the police station. Human lifespans are so short compared to ours that I didn't want to risk the heartache that is sure to come when they pass. If I kept my heart guarded, then I wouldn't feel pain."

"If you do that, you can't feel happiness either ya know," Kenzi said under her breath.

"I know," he admitted. "But it took me a long time to figure that out. Actually, it took a small human that has a bigger than life attitude." He stared right at her. Kenzi shifted her weight from her left foot to her right foot, trying not to let his words affect her. "I ignored you when we first met, my focus being on the job and bringing Bo in. That was the first time you surprised me, when you entered a warehouse full of fae, including some of our most powerful leaders, in order to save Bo. A human risking her life for a fae was astonishing. Typically humans don't like their owners and would leave their fae to die in the hopes of gaining their freedom."

"Isn't that heartwarming," she scowled.

"I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying it to show you why I was so shocked at your actions that day. You stayed with Bo, not because she forced you to, but because you wanted to. Every time I met up with Bo, you were right there, and you made your presence known. You didn't care what I thought, or any fae for that matter. You even ripped me a new one when I broke Bo's heart," he chuckled fondly at the memory. "Do you think I'm the type of guy who would normally let anyone tell me off, let alone someone I was taught to believe was below me?" Kenzi diverted his gaze, considering his words. "I'm a wolf Kenz, being an alpha male is instinctual, yet I sat there and let you fling things at me and diss me until you left."

"Maybe you're just not alpha material pup," she mocked, clinging to the anger she refused to let go of. He wasn't going to get off that easy.

"Or maybe I let you get away with shit I wouldn't ever tolerate from anyone else because you're special." He took a deep breath, "look Kenz, I don't know how and I don't know when, but you became a big part of my life." Dyson took a few steps closer to her, happy when she didn't back away from him. He put a hand under her chin, tilting her head up so she would finally look at him, so she could see the truth in his eyes. "The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you."

Slate blue eyes stared into his own. Finally she ripped herself away from him, taking a few steps back and folding her arms across her chest. "That still doesn't change what you think of humans as a whole," she responded, her voice no longer held anger, only sadness.

Dyson frowned, witnessing how his words had broken down her walls. He didn't like seeing Kenzi this vulnerable; it was so different from her usual persona. A part of him couldn't help but wonder if this was the real Kenzi that only Bo ever got to see. "Kenzi," he began, not sure what to say. At a loss for words, he simply said, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she shook her head softly. "If it's what you believe, then who am I to change that?"

Dyson could see she was physically and emotionally distancing herself from him, and he knew he was the only one to blame. He had hurt her deeply, without meaning to, but he had hurt her all the same. She was dealing with it the only way she knew how. "No, you're right. I'm living in the past. Hale is always talking about how great humans are, and I couldn't even see what was right in front of me, wouldn't even give it a chance," he said, his tone of voice matching her own.

"I'm just…I'm living in a world that doesn't want me. I'm used to it," she shrugged.

He shook his head vehemently, "that's where you're wrong. Bo wants you, Hale wants you, even Trick wants you and he's a hard nut to crack. And whether or not you believe it, I want you too." He took a step closer to her, but she turned away from him. "My problem is with Lauren, not with you and not with humans. I'm sorry I dragged you into something that has nothing to do with you."

She chuckled humorlessly. "You still don't see it do you? Sure you have a problem with Lauren, but almost all of your points have to do with the fact she's human." Kenzi began listing off his reasons on her fingers, "she's weak, she can't be trusted, she's owned by the Ash, she can't sustain Bo with her chi, she will die before the turn of the new century, and she doesn't have any powers to protect Bo. Basically, you don't like her because she's not fae. The fact a mere human woman is challenging you irritates the shit out of your wolf self."

Dyson threw his arms up in a shrug, "what do you want me to say? You're right? I have unresolved issues? Because it's true. My past is still affecting me, just like yours is affecting you."

Her eyes hardened as she glared at him, "you don't know anything about my life," she hissed.

"I don't know the specifics, but I do know you grew up on the streets. I can't imagine what led to that, or what happened to you during all of those years you were alone. I was betrayed by my king, and I suffered through losing my best friend who was like a brother to me. I didn't want to feel that pain again, so I refused to get close to anyone, especially humans because I knew they would die before I did."

"You want to know what I learned growing up? Trust no one: not strangers, not friends, not cops, and especially not family," her eyes became glossy. "And yet all these years later, I make the same frickin mistake. I _trusted_ you Dyson," she jabbed her chest with her finger, "and a part of me still wants to despite how shitty you made me feel. This is what happens when I let people in, I get tossed aside like I never even mattered to begin with," she gestured between them. "You keep saying how I am different, well I thought you were different too."

This time, it was Dyson who looked away, too ashamed at what he had done to meet her gaze. For a wolf, it was a submissive gesture he was not accustomed to. "I'm so sorry," his voice cracked, his emotions getting the best of him. "For everything." He enveloped Kenzi in a hug. She tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let her. Her small fists pounded onto his chest, silent tears streaming down her face. Finally, the fight left her and she collapsed against his chest sobbing. Her fingers grasped his shirt tightly, as if it were her only lifeline. Dyson rested his head on top of her own, closing his eyes against the pain he felt in his heart at causing his friend such anguish. "I want to be better," he told her, "for you." She leaned back a little to look up at him. "I'm trying here Kenzi. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you in my life. I may make mistakes, and I might be a stubborn pig-headed ass sometimes…"

"With a side of insensitive," she added.

"..and insensitive," he smiled at her, "but I will _never_ leave you Kenzi. You're stuck with me now whether you like it or not. Letting me in was not a mistake, and I'll spend the rest of my days proving it to you. If you'll have me?" Kenzi nodded against him causing relief to wash over the shifter. "And for the record, your family was wrong; you are not worthless. You have a sister downstairs who would die for you, and you have friends who love you and care about your happiness. Their loss is our gain," he gave her a squeeze.

"Thank you," she whispered into his chest, his wolf hearing easily picking up her words. She pulled back, but he kept his hands lightly grasping her arms. She wiped at her tears, trying to hide the evidence that she had ever been crying.

"So," he began, seeing that she wanted to move on from this conversation, "you're still on Team Dyson right?" he smirked crookedly.

"Ugh," she dramatically rolled her eyes, turning away from him to hide the smile that was easily creeping upon her face.


End file.
